piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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