gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
