Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
