i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
