There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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