She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
