jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
