So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
