We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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