I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
