The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
