You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
