I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
