He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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