If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
