4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
