You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
