Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
