I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize