Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
