didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
