I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
