based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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