Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
