Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
home. puking in laundry basket.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
