yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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