ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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