This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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