did you get engaged???
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
