I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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