We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
