Buhtt sex?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
