i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
