I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
