lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
