Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My vagina is very pro this idea
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