question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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