Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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