Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
being pregnant is like rehab
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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