I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
