period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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