She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
