you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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