i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
