i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
