everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
