So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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