whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
