I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
