do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
