Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
