the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
