Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
